Social Media

Updates on my sometimes seemingly too deep thoughts on social media.

I still want a Barbie phone, even a year after it has come out. I ordered a light phone a few years ago and could not make it work. It was hard to text and make calls on it. But a flip phone is alluring. And a Barbie flip phone?! That is even more fun.

I added it to the wedding registry I had with my ex last fall and everyone asked why it was on our registry. People thought it was a joke. No one gifted it to me. I learned it is not traditional to add gifts to a wedding registry that are just for one person. Well, that whole damn wedding was just for my ex so I thought I could at least ask for the Barbie phone I wanted.

"Our kitchen is already set up," I tried to explain. I was not interested in traditional gifts. We could afford and had already purchased most of the things we wanted. I thought people should donate to a cause in our honor instead of buying us a bunch of probably unnecessary shit that I would have to carefully bubble wrap for the next move with my not-actually-diagnosed-as-OCD-but-acted-OCD-in a-controlling-way ex. Nice things were really important to him and I wondered at the beginning of our relationship if that would be a values clash. If you are now wondering that same thing, it was.

Anyway, I felt that if I got this Barbie phone as a gift, it would feel less like a another flopped switch-to-a-dumb-phone project.

Thinking about it now, I am laughing at how funny it would be for me to pull out a flip phone if someone asked me for my number. It would shake up so many interactions that have become the social norm now. And I tend to love stuff that shakes things up that way.

I am often looking for different ways to get headspace to create and think differently and the Barbie phone seems like a fun way to get it. The phone reminds me of things I loved as a kid, too; bright pink anything, rainbows, glitter, stickers, coloring books, American Girl Dolls, Polly Pockets, and Lisa Frank.

My younger sister cautions me against getting a dumb phone. The disclaimer here is that my sister cautions me against doing most of the reckless things I ultimately end up doing anyway. She says I should use app blockers and take distracting apps off the iPhone. I am currently in the process of removing apps from the iPhone 14 I have. I open the apps on my laptop and access them when I need them, instead of making myself feel productive every time I sit on the toilet. Technically, I could grab my laptop to check my email while I use the loo the morning but that seems inconvenient and risky enough that I probably will not do it.

I do wonder how annoying it will be to not use a smart phone, with all the 2FA's and apps that exist. However, the action feels like it aligns with my values. I will probably miss out on some music and podcasts, but I have not been missing out on things I do not see when I don't have Instagram or Facebook.

I guess I have to give it a go and see where the experiment takes me.

Thoughts on Social Media from Fall 2024 (updated and edited August 2025):

I cannot wait until the day I can delete my LinkedIn. I started thinking I wanted to delete my profile when I left a sales job after only three days. I recruiter contacted me through LinkedIn with a shiny new role. I took the role and almost cried on the third day. Although it was difficult, I am genuinely grateful it happened because it was enough of a kick in the butt to get me to stop working a job I never really wanted to do.

LinkedIn provided me with a profile built and maintained to help me get me sales jobs I did not enjoy. It gave me momentary distractions from those sales jobs that made me feel productive because I was “networking.” It was the sneakiest of the apps to take over my headspace because it was connected to my livelihood.

My LinkedIn deletion will follow my TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Pinterest deletion. App by app, I began to recognize I did not want their influence on my brain.

With many of these apps, I would go through periods of hibernating and reactivating my account, always coming up with a reason to be there. I would completely delete accounts, then find a new reason to use the app that I had not considered before the last deletion. Then, I would set up a brand new account. I would tell myself there was a post I “needed to see,” or “no other way to sell my microphone,” or “shoot, I deleted my old coworker's number on accident and the only way to find them is on this social networking site.” The reasons are all pretty sneaky and each reason had some legitimate value.

When I started decreasing my social media use in 2020, I noticed that my relationships were not as healthy as I wanted them to be. I wondered why I felt so alone if I talked to so many people online. When the computer was closed or the phone was away, I found myself longing for real connection.

When I used Instagram and regularly engaged with Facebook, I thought about my life in terms of things I should post. It was hard to be present for my life because I would feel compelled to take a picture or share a funny moment.

Whenever I fasted from social media, I made time for things I genuinely wanted in my life. I would spend time learning and writing, out with friends, painting, dancing, or going on dates. I returned to social media after these fasts, preaching about how good it felt to get away from the comparison and time suck of social media. Eventually, I started to wonder how I could genuinely encourage others to let go of these addictive technologies if I was still using them.

Since I stopped using Instagram and Facebook (my two biggest time sucks), I have read so many books on my list. I have written pages and pages. I started to feel my feelings instead of escaping into a mind-numbing feed, which helps me face the source of these pains more directly.

I have many questions about social media use that I will need time to sort out going forward, but I am happy with where I am now, compared to where I was at the start of 2020 (when I felt I needed all the apps).

Things I am considering and researching:

How can I find balance and use the benefits of technology without it ruling my thoughts and having such influence on my life?

Could I reasonably use a dumb phone? If I got lost on a run, how would I navigate home? Would I call a friend? Ask a stranger for directions? Or would I memorize my route? I often listen to books on Libby or Audible while I run, drive, fold clothes, or cook. Would I start listening t0 books on tape? Do those even exist? Actually, my car doesn't have a tape player. Apparently Bill Gates once had his radio taken out so he could focus on Microsoft. Maybe, I would just be like Bill. Really focused.

Would I read more books by hand? Would simply folding when I am folding, running when I am running, and cooking while I am cooking, give me more time to create, heal, and be at peace?

I love to listen to fast music when I run hard. Am I missing something by running hard to Pitbull and not listening to the sound of my breath, the birds, and the world around me?