Lauren Rice

Letting go

My dumb (phone) life update

Randi

This bit is for Annelise and Honey

Social Rejection

I remember looking down the hallway in middle school as two girls turned away from my older sister, leaving her out of their conversation and walking down the hallway without her when she was clearly trying to engage with them. I could see my sister was hurt. I never told

I keep surprising myself

This past week, I finally was able to wear my bush/tree costume on stage for Halloween. It was a little late for Halloween, but I am really happy with how the look turned out. It was my first time back at the Monday Night Comedy Show and I missed

Knee Pain + Comedy

My knee swelled a couple days after I practiced a swing dancing spin at home. I felt a pinch and some pain when it happened but it was the swelling that scared me. I have had lots of knee pain before, but I had never been able to push fluid

Codependence Recovery Attempt #2

I walked myself into a Codependents Anonymous meeting late in 2020, fresh off a breakup. In early 2020, I finally stopped caring for my mentally-ill mother. Shortly after that, I found myself in another codependent relationship. My new partner also struggled with mental illness and slowly nudged me into a

My dumb (phone) life

I got lost on my way to the Twin Cities marathon. I printed out a map and then forgot it at home. I tried to use my GPS but it couldn't re-route around the road construction. I ended up returning the GPS and now I am busy memorizing

Minimalism

When I was in my twenties, I was a bit embarrassed to claim the identity of a minimalist because I was a poor college student and had been forced into minimalistic ways. I was only a minimalist because I was poor. I moved into one college dorm room with white

My dumb phone is here

The day that no one was waiting for (except me) has arrived. My family is a bit frustrated I am no longer in the group chat, and I will have to read a phone manual to access the voicemail I received. Hopefully the voicemail is not too important because I

Managing Money (and relationships)

I never learned much about money because my student loan debt felt too overwhelming and impossible to overcome. I did not want to look directly at my bank accounts, my debt, and my savings because it made me uncomfortable to see how little I made compared to how massive my

Walk with me

They gave my brother a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Unfortunately, right to his paranoid face. He angrily rejected the diagnosis and any treatment or medication plan. I did not understand why they could not say this treatment would help him with his anxiety or his OCD. These were mental issues he

Microwave Popcorn and Oranges

"We can eat microwave popcorn and oranges because there is no way Nana can drug us if that is all we eat," my mom proudly proclaimed. This was her latest idea in a series of terrible ideas that ended up getting us getting kicked out of Nana and

How to Date in 2025

Set up a nice profile on Bumble. And by nice, I mean whatever you think is nice. As long as you add pictures of yourself, that will work. Go on a few first dates with some of your matches. After the third first date, delete your profile because no one

My own little runaway bride story

I loved him a lot, otherwise we never would have been together. I am grateful for everything I learned by being in a relationship with him. I adored his family and close friends. I desperately wanted to push through my desire to leave because we wanted so many of the

Leaving UNC

“There is someone here who needs to speak to you,” Coach Watson told me as I arrived at our afternoon cross-country practice. We were about to hop in the team van to head to a nearby trail for a workout. “They are in Coach Craddock’s office.” Concerned, I walked

Holidays

“Does anyone have a belt?” my aunt asked. With spunk, my under-two-year-old cousin had refused to eat a dish Nana made for Easter. Nana became enraged. She would not tolerate disobedience, not even from a baby. My aunt had tried but failed to get him to eat, so she asked

Pawns, I'd say

Advice for couples who are getting divorced and have children together Children can be weaponized in divorce if you’d like. Children can be thought of as assets in the fight against your ex, or persons to be turned against your soon-to-be ex. Keep this in mind when you are

Racing and Homelessness

“Congrats on your race honey, we’re homeless,” she whispered into my ear. No warning and no pause between the congratulation and the announcement of our homelessness. I won the section meet but my accomplishment did not matter to her. That is how my mom was. She loved me, but

Abortion

I have full comedy sets on abortion that would get me banned from certain conservative rooms in Minnesota when I was still performing. “Oh that girl was so funny and wonderful, until she started talking about abortion,” was the feedback I would get. I did not mind. I enjoyed seeing

Social Media

Updates on my sometimes seemingly too deep thoughts on social media. I still want a Barbie phone, even a year after it has come out. I ordered a light phone a few years ago and could not make it work. It was hard to text and make calls on it.

The Dilemma of Appearance and Athletics

I remember attempts to shape my body into something other than what it was at an early age. I was a scrawny kid and the world felt free to comment on it. “Chicken legs,” my inappropriate middle school teacher said. “I think that girl is anorexic,” a stranger said to

On Drinking

1. You can dance freely even if you don’t do drugs or drink alcohol. You can also say what you mean without drugs or alcohol. I think a lot of people are not knowing this. When I found these things out, I wondered why people drank. 2. Jk, after

Grey Hair

I am not convinced I have quit dying my hair yet. I hope that if I write about it and announce it to the world, I will clarify what I genuinely think about dying my hair. I have scheduled and canceled a hair dye appointment twice in the last two

Lip Gloss

On a weekend day off, my then-bf and I were prancing about Stillwater, MN. He decided, as he often does, that the day should conclude with a fancy dinner. I suddenly thought I did not look nice enough for a fancy dinner. Every once in a while, I remember that