Minimalism
When I was in my twenties, I was a bit embarrassed to claim the identity of a minimalist because I was a poor college student and had been forced into minimalistic ways. I was only a minimalist because I was poor. I moved into one college dorm room with white sheets and a blanket and whatever clothes I could fit in my checked bag on my flight to San Diego. This was in sharp contrast to my roommates who were from wealthy families and had decor and outfits for every possible occasion.
When I started making more money, I noticed I still preferred to keep few belongings. I tried out having a more expansive wardrobe but kept wearing only two or three outfits. I ended up donating the extras I had accumulated and paring back down again.
It is possible that my continuous moves over the years are behind my love of minimalism. I have not lived in one place for more than a year since I was in middle school. At 34, this means I have been moving homes or rooms or apartments at least once a year for most of my life (more than twenty years). If I were a hoarder or anything close to that, I do not think I could have pulled off all of these moves. Pro tip: If you want to move across the country, as I did three times this past year, you really cannot bring more than what you can fit in your car unless you have a lot of extra funds to blow.
Another possible reason I tend to prefer minimalism is that I watched my grandma hoard when I was a teenager. She had years-old cans of tuna stacked in her basement because the end times were coming. I could barely move around in her home because of all the knick knacks she had stacked everywhere. I reasonably associated her rage and disordered mental states with the hoarding, too.
However, if I look further back in time before I witnessed this hoarding, I can see some natural tendencies towards minimalism starting even earlier in my life. When I was in elementary school, my mom asked a child who was my age if she knew me. "Yes! I know her!" the child exclaimed, "she is the kid who wears that grey Gap sweatshirt to school every day!" My mom was embarrassed because we were not poor at that time and she did not like people thinking we were. I never saw that Gap sweatshirt again. I do not think that kids worry about what fashion statement they are making unless they are taught to worry about it.
I loved my school uniform in high school. Clothes were one less thing to think about in the midst of that stressful time in my life. I would grab whatever collared shirt and khakis were on the top of the pile and put them on without giving the day's look any more thought.
Some of my favorite people wore uniforms because it freed them to focus on things they genuinely wanted to spend their mental energy on. Albert Einstein wore some variation of the same grey suit every day. Steve Jobs is famous for always wearing blue jeans and a black turtleneck. We don't all have to be eccentric thinkers to enjoy the benefits of creating our own uniforms and keeping our belongings simple.
Resources that influences my thoughts on minimalism:
She avoided spending unless it was absolutely necessary for one year to push back on the consumeristic norms of today. It helped me think about different ways to change my consumeristic behaviors, which nudged me further into my minimalistic ways.
Femininity, Hyper-Commodified: Consumerism, Social Media, and Beauty Standards
This article discusses how consumerism and our overly connected world has driven women to focus even more on their appearance and spend in ways that are detrimental to their wellbeing. This article helped me see more clearly how my behaviors online were affecting my finances and consumption overall. Recently, I saw the effects of media play out when a comment and then a Netflix show led to me getting my hair dyed. One day, an ex mentioned that I reminded him of a girl from a new show on Netflix. I pulled up Netflix, watched the show, realized the girl's hair was bleached blonde and that I could see a few grey hairs in mine and maybe to keep myself looking like this young movie star, I should go get my hair dyed. I proceeded to get my hair dyed and about a week later found myself wondering why my hair was bleached blonde again. I "walked back the cat" (a technique from Martha Beck's book, The Way of Integrity) to realize what had happened. It is a strange feeling to gain awareness of how these large corporations influence your life. It makes me wonder how much creative control we actually have over our lives.
I recommend this book to everyone, whether you think of yourself as an artist or not. It is not specifically about minimalism, but I learned the practice of writing down my purchases and reflecting on them from this book. When I reflect on past purchases, I suddenly can see that a new skincare purchase does not make me feel good, but buying something to help my nephew learn and play feels deeply rewarding.
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
Just before breaking off my engagement last year, I read this book by Marie Kondo. Then, much to my ex's annoyance, I tidied up the place we shared. He had bizarre keepsakes from both sets of his grandparents and weddings he had attended and he did not enjoy me digging through them and asking whether they sparked joy for him or not. I ended up getting our place so tidy that it became easier for me to see that it was in fact my ex I did not want or need in my life. Tidying up and being conscious of what I physically keep somehow helps me be more conscious of everything else in my life. Clearing things out helps me get clarity on who I am as a person and who I want to be. It helps me write and rewrite my values as things in life change and as I grow throughout my life.
This documentary explains why we often stay on the hedonic treadmill that nudges us to consume more and more. It helped me to understand the psychology that leads me into buying things I don't actually want or need.
Minimalism has its limits
A few years ago, I had one box of keepsakes when I moved into a small room in a friend's house I was renting. I had no space for this box but I wanted to keep it. It contained some photos of my siblings and a few remaining keepsakes. I was working from home and could barely fit my bed and desk in the room I rented. I asked my dad if he could store it in his house that is worth almost $2 million, so you know it must be big and spacious. He said no, my step mom could not keep any memories of my dad's life before they were together. In their home, they have a room for each of my step sisters, but no room for one box of my belongings or any of my brothers' or sisters'. I took this bin to my older sister to see if she had room to store it for me for a little while. She said no, she was getting ready for her baby to be born. Finally, I took the bin to my mom who graciously accepted it. She was my last resort as she was the least stable of my options. She was staying at her brother's house and was trying to take up as little space as possible there, so this was a great risk. A few days later, in a rage, she burned my one box of keepsakes, saying my siblings and I were not her kids anymore because we were not taking care of her and she did not want any memories of us around. She would go find some new kids who loved and respected her. Less than a month later, her brother got tired of her paranoia, generally difficult moods, and contrarian behaviors and kicked her out of his home. If you thought I moved a lot, you should see how often my mom moves. I knew my mom was unreliable so I may as well have taken my small bin of keepsakes to the dump or burned them myself when I dropped them off with her. But, this is not how I generally like to let go of things. So in this case, I cried. I knew I would be okay if I did not have photos or keepsakes from my childhood. I had already lost most of them long before this burning happened. Those photos would not survive in a hundred years anyway, right? But, they would have meant something to me while I am still alive. So, we know you can be too minimalistic if you go on eliminating everything. Listening to your instincts on what you want to keep is important. As you experiment with minimalism, you learn what is right for you. I learned I should have just stacked that bin somewhere inconvenient, even if it was just in the trunk of my car.
I think it is rather proper to have collections of things you love, too. I have four wigs I used when I was doing standup but will now use on other rare occasions. I plan to grow my collection of notebooks filled with my free writing from over the years since I regret tossing a bin of old journals ahead of one of my past moves. My aim is to check my reasoning for what I am buying and keeping so that I can continue to live in alignment with what matters most to me, even if that changes from time to time. Ultimately, I love minimalism because it helps me live in alignment with my values.